While it is often tempting to rely on religion and religious doctrine to keep teens from engaging in sexual activity, it isn't always the smartest choice. Unfortunately, though the teachings of various religions prohibit pre-marital sex, the likelihood of a teen engaging in some sort of sexual activity before he or she is married is far more than not. According to Guttmacher, nearly half (46%) of all 15-19-year-olds in the United States have had sex at least once. They go on to state that by age 15, only 13% have had sex, but by the time they reach 19, it jumps to 70% that have engaged in sexual intercourse.
While studies show that teens are waiting longer to have sex than in the past, it is still wise to educate teens as soon as they show signs of readiness. Though it can be difficult, it is possible to properly educate teens while bringing the parent some peace of mind at the same time. Open communication between teen and parent can make a world of difference in the long run and is always worth it.
Some Tips for Parents
- Realize that teens will hear about sex whether a parent tells them about it or not.
- Always be frank and open with teens about their questions.
- Encourage the teen to be open.
- Don't make judgmental or preachy rules when discussing sex with a teen. This will only alienate him and cause him to keep things from the parent.
- Encourage a teen to use condoms, even allowing him or her to purchase them with parental assistance and guidance.
- Get involved in the child's life and meet his or her friends and their parents.
- Examine the teen's phone for text messages. Though this is technically an invasion of privacy, being aware of the things they discuss will be a good lead in for conversations.
- Don't let peers be the voice of authority because the parent has none.
When Teens Are Ready to Discuss Sex
Overall, the best method of determining a teen's readiness to discuss sex comes directly from him or her. It is the responsibility of the parent to remain in tune with the teen's habits, and the best thing a parent can do is keep listening. Maybe not directly, but a teen will always let his or her parent(s) know when it is time to have a conversation about sex. Once dialogue has opened, it will become increasingly easy to discuss issues related to sexual activity between parent and teen.
While it is likely that most teens will engage in some sort of sexual activity before marriage, being an informed parent who listens to his or her teen can make "the talk" less frightening and keep the teen from becoming a statistic.
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