This 2009, The Oprah show welcomed Dr. Laura Berman, a well known therapist from Chicago. This show was focused on helping parents find positive ways to give their children a lesson on sex ed. The therapist didn’t hesitate to ask the audience if they have talked to their teens about self stimulation, including vibrators for young girls. Dr. Laura Berman says parents may be making a huge mistake by not having conversations with their teenagers about more contentious topics. Many viewers had mixed feelings towards the therapist’s parenting advice.
Advice on Parenting Teens
Dr. Laura Berman stressed the importance of parents engaging in conversation with their teens about sexual activity. She suggests that parents should be open and honest when responding to any questions children may have. The more comfortable the parent is when engaging in conversation about this topic, the less likely the child is to fear bringing up any future questions.
The therapist believes that if you wait until the child reaches the age of 13 or 14 to talk about sex, this may be too late. She suggests, when it comes to parenting teens, the earlier you begin to open up conversations, the more empowered the child will feel when it comes to understanding their body.
Dr. Berman, told parents, that once their child begins to ask questions, this is a sign that they are ready to have the first talk. It was suggested that the first conversation with their child should be explaining in detail the main functions of our bodies (Both male and female).
The conversation should include:
- The anatomy of both male and female
- How a baby is conceived
- Getting to know your genitals
Parenting Advice on Discussing Self Stimulation
Once the child understands the basics of sex ed, as well as their genitals, the parent has successfully finished the first important talk. Although, Dr. Berman recommends that parents later bring up the idea of masturbating (use the term self stimulation).
She believes that the talk shouldn’t just consist of preventatives (such as pregnancy), although it should also include the pleasures between two individuals. It is important to educate a child on the fact that sex isn’t just about giving, but also receiving.
The therapist suggests telling teenagers to take control of their bodies, understanding how to pleasure themselves. She even goes as far as stating that it’s a good idea to supply a vibrator to their daughters. Some parents did not agree with this parenting advice and were not open to doing such a thing.
The reason behind this concept was expressed by Dr. Berman, as she explained that many women struggle to reach orgasm and an external vibrator will help teens understand how their bodies respond.The therapist expresses, while many parents see boys masturbating as normal, they have a hard time accepting the female’s need for self stimulation. Another positive incentive would be the ability to turn away from young hormonal desires, due to knowing that they can please themselves.
Giving Children a Sense of Empowerment Over Their Bodies
Overall, Dr. Laura Berman wants mothers and fathers to understand the importance of sex ed and making their children feel comfortable coming to them with questions. She explains that when it comes to parenting teens, creating a comfortable environment gives children a feeling of empowerment over their bodies. Regardless of the controversy regarding masturbation, it is suggested that parents be open and honest with their children. Once parents feel comfortable with discussing these topics, this will lead to much needed positive communication with their teens.
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